Easier Said than done…you might be thinking.
It can be difficult to find a way to enjoy emotions you move through contrast because we are not “supposed” to feel good when we are feeling bad. How does that sentence even make sense? Why would someone even try to feel good about a “bad” feeling? Because all the feelings we have are important to us on our journey, and if we are aware enough to bring thought to the question; how is this serving me? eventually you will see that all emotion serves.
Unfortunately, there is a misinterpretation that causes many to feel guilty about not “looking” happy or appearing happy. Here is the truth…without the contrast of emotions the enjoyment of positive emotions would be anti-climatic. Knowing sadness makes happiness all the better, etc.
“I don’t want to feel sad, why would I want to be sad?” there is something wrong with your logic. If you don’t want to feel sad, or mad, or disappointed, or frustrated…or,or,or, then why do you? Truth: it is so you can identify something that is not working for you, and look for ways to change to something that resonates with you. Feeling uncomfortable emotions are about you not being in alignment…in other words true to yourself.
But you might say, “the reason I feel this way is because so and so did this, or did that, and if they loved me, liked me, cared abut me, they would not treat me like that”. OK, let us dissect that.
Remember that everything you see and feel is from your filter and your experience of life, so another person may have a million reasons why they move through their day the way they do. Chances are what other people do has nothing to do with you. We humans want to everyone to revolve around us because in our world everything does revolve around us, but what other people do is about them. If you want things to change you can’t change the other person you have to either change your perception, or you have to remove the cause of the problem.
When you place the cause of uncomfortable feelings on the actions of others it takes away all of your power. If everything that is happening is someone else’s fault how can you change your situation?
How do you learn to feel better as you move through discomfort? Recognize that you are uncomfortable. Ask yourself why this situation is making you feel that way it is. Ask yourself what you can do to change the way you are feeling. Then you need to quiet yourself for a time to “get” an answer. I have used sound and hummed to it for 15 minutes, walked and focused on seeing things no one else might see, focused on breath, etc. When I say meditate and quiet your mind, many say they have tried but it is too hard…really?…there is a way to do this for yourself so you can “hear” the answers, you need to experiment and find yours.
Sometimes we need to remove ourselves completely from a situation, or change our expectation, ask ourselves if the conditions we a placing on other people are the problem.
Uncomfortable feelings are there to bring our awareness to see what we do not want, ask yourself what do you want, listen for the answer and then make the necessary adjustments or changes in our life so we find the feelings that make us happy. It is an ongoing process, identifying that which we prefer and then going that direction. I know I sound redundant, I said the same thing in the paragraphs above…I am telling you this works. That is why I repeat myself.
If you do not learn to identify what you prefer and allow yourself to move toward that which is preferred your emotions will keep making you aware of it.
Fear of change often keeps us standing in a house that is burning around us until we are pushed so far that we have no other choice…it is easier on a person to allow changes to come about gradually and move into your power. The power of knowing that you are ultimately the one in charge of your life and your feelings can be difficult to grasp all at once.
It is your life.
It takes s little work and a lot of faith…but it is so worth it.