When you say that word how does it feel to you? Is there an immediate longing? a discomfort in the solar plexus? a warmth that spreads over your entire being? Does it immediately bring the picture of another person into your mind? Maybe an image of someone else’s relationship… your parents, grandparents, a friend and how they are or were with each other.
Take a little time and process this information, and ask yourself…what is love? How do I see love? Is the love I see and feel the love that I want in my life?
Most people are looking for a relationship before they ever take the time to understand what they want…how they want to feel. Often I ask my clients the question and they respond with how the person looks, or how much money they have. Some tell me they want that person that “completes” them.
Are you willing to take the time to discover what you truly want in your life ? YES! You say…I want love in my life! I am ready!! Tell me how to make this happen! PLEASE! I am tired of being alone!
I will tell you what I tell my clients, that is exactly why you are not finding love…or allowing it to find you. Like everything in life, if you are not ready for what you really want you will attract versions of it that you are ready for. That is why I ask all of those questions. Even if you have a list of all of the qualities your new love should have if your belief is counter to to what you wrote; that people eventually betray each-other, argue etc. that is what you attract and you wont be happy. If you are desperate for love you will attract that. If you are longing for physical intimacy and touch don’t be surprised if you attract partners that are all about the physical aspect of a relationship but have nothing else to give. We give off signals, scents and vibrations that we are completely unaware of.
So what do you do?
You need to ask yourself a new set of questions and give yourself time to experience and understand the answers. These are the questions:
What do I love to do?
How do I want to feel? What do I do that makes me feel this way?
What am I happy with in my life? What would I like to change?
What do I want to accomplish? What are 10 things I want to do before I die?
Look at your answers and ask..what are some steps I can take today, this week, this month to work toward what I want in my life.
These are not the only questions; you will come to see that as you ask, experience and understand the answers to these questions, more questions for “self” will arise. As you experience the answers to these questions you begin to learn more about yourself and a funny thing happens…your vibration changes. As your vibration changes different people are attracted to you…people closer to what you say you want. But I tell people, “don’t jump too fast”, as you enjoy this new experience of self you are evolving and your vibration will keep adjusting. As your vibration gets higher and higher you will find that there are more people attracted to you that “fit” and then boom one day when you are enjoying the person you are becoming or have become and like magic there is the person that you really want not just a warm body to fill a hole in your life…why because you have no holes in your life, it was you that filled them.
The phrase, “to find love you have to love yourself first” is true. But people that come to me are frustrated because they don’t understand what that means. Some people I see feel that are too heavy, too old, not smart enough, not pretty enough, don’t have enough money…the list goes on. But over 3 to 6 months working with me, discovering themselves they start to get it…how to love themselves. It can be hard to find your way, but with a little help you can find the tools and as you gather these tools and recreate life how you want it, things fall into place.
And that is how you find love or allow love to find you…first you find the love for yourself and allow yourself to live life how you choose…build your life and it will come.